The couple in the old jag

Parked on the main drag

the couple in the old Jag

she finishing her nag

adds he's not much of a shag.

He finishes his fag,

calls her an old hag,

with permanent jetlag,

dressed in a dishrag,

she's not one to brag

She replies - scumbag!

His retort - old slag!

Then he raises the white flag.

Starting to gag,

she reaches for her handbag,

from red flag 

to green flag

she leaves in a huff!

Smart

Smart watch wakes man up.

Man checks smart watch.

Smart watch says man slept well!

Man asks smart speaker to play "inspirational" playlist.

Smart speaker reminds man it's time for breakfast!

Man asks smart speaker for healthy breakfast options.

Man makes high protein,

low calorie breakfast 

smart speaker suggested.

Smart speaker reminds man it's time for gym!

Man runs to gym.

Smart watch notes steps and heart rate.

Man schedules thirty minutes on treadmill,

smart watch measures steps, heart rate and calories burnt.

Smart watch congratulates man - "good job!"

Time to shower,

then to work.

Man runs to work.

Again; smart watch measures steps and heart rate.

Man enters office,

sits at work-station,

smart watch and smart phone synchronize with work-station.

Man asks smart watch to clock him on.

Man works.

Schedules to keep.

Time for meetings.

Smart watch sounds reminders all morning.

Lunch time.

Man walks round corner to café.

Man buys avocado salad and skinny latte,

noting calories on smart phone.

More work.

More meetings.

More smart watch reminders.

Another skinny latte,

again calories noted on smart phone.

Day done.

Man clocks off using smart phone.

Runs home,

again smart watch notes steps and heart rate.

Home.

Man asks smart speaker to check messages.

Man prepares healthy tea.

Checks smart phone.

Starts timer on smart phone.

Gets side tracked.

Stumbles into lounge.

Knocks grandfather clock over,

clock falls - crash!

Clock stops on exact time of incident.

Man falls to floor.

Bangs head on fallen grandfather clock,

collision kills man,

smart watch notes time of heart beat stopping,

smart speaker says "life insurance policy is up for renewal".

Smart fridge tells smart speaker "we're out of low fat, high protein cheese!"

as timer goes off on smart watch - "healthy tea is ready"

...how smart is that!

All So Very Noisy

The noise paint makes whilst it drys.

The sound of sweat being produced by cyclists.

The deafening sound of a sunset.

All those noises brown hair makes when it gets dyed blonde.

The noise of an empty wine glass.

The noise a chair cover makes when no-one sits on it.

The din made by a beautiful view.

The noise grass makes as it grows.

The sound of the sun.

The neighbours - thinking.

The sound a two-piece suit emits.

The noise an idea makes.

The sound a curtain makes,

as it slowly fades in the sun.

The roar a leaf.

The sound of a stare.

The fretfulness of a hole.

The termoil of a stair gate.

The commotion of a candle.

The bedlam from your glasses.

The cry of a disconnected pair of headphones.

The disquiet of a plastic chair.

That noise carpets make.

Ceramic tiles on a wall.

The sound of history.

Gone off cheese.

A book.

Smoke.

Soil...

...all so very noisy!

Shopping List

1. You need something but you don't know what.

2. Try going to a shop,

they sell things!

3. Make sure you are talking on your mobile at all times, 

maybe the person you're talking to knows what you need and can help you!

4. Keep talking on your mobile until you know why you've gone into the shop.

5. When the person you are talking to tells you what to buy, and you find it,

pick it up and approach the cashier with the essential item.

6. You must keep talking on your mobile,

especially when you get to the cashier.

7. You are only allowed to stop talking to select your digital wallet from your mobile to pay for said item.

8. When you think your payment has gone through,

ensure you return to talking on your mobile immediately - even though your payment hasn't gone through yet!

9. Under no circumstances must you interact with anyone,

especially the cashier!

10. Head to the door immediately!

11. Remain talking on your mobile!

12. Meet up with the person you were talking to on your mobile,

...outside the shop door!

Waving at trains

To wave at passing trains is a normal thing to do,

for if you waved at a passing bus,

the bus would probably stop for you.

The same would be for a 'private hire',

the bloke would stop ask; "where to squire?"

You wouldn't wave at a passing plane,

unless you'd been on the booze again!

If you waved like that at a passing copper

you'd more than likely come a cropper

he'd scribble notes in his notepad - then lock you up; thinking you were mad.

But to wave at train's a normal thing to do

and if you're lucky they'll wave back at you,

quite who they are I haven't the notion

they looked all blurred cos the train was in motion,

but; it is exciting to see a train

and they do it in movies - it's hard to explain.

The speed and the noise

and it's a friendly thing to do,

to wave back at someone who's waving at you!

So don't be shy and go down to the station

and wave at a train,

it could grip the nation - go on!

When

When does cool become cold?

When does tepid become warm,

hot become oppressive...

and when is enough?

When does a door become a barrier?

When does shut become locked,

secure become controlled...

and why can't I cope?

When do tears become rain?

When does fear become frightened,

charming become too much...

and when will it end?

When does will; become might,

loose become tight,

day become night,

OK become not right,

and dark become light

...what have I done - can the end be in sight!