*At the next junction turn left, right?
I mean turn left, OK. Just turn left, we're not going on a route march!
*I can see that you and I are not going to get on!
*No, it's no good changing my voice settings, I'll still have the same snotty attitude!
*Carry straight ahead for 10 miles, I need to go for a wee so won't be here for two minutes...
Right! I'm back.
Well tough. When a Sat Nav needs a wee, a Sat Nav needs a wee!
*No it was the second exit on that roundabout you needed, sorry, I forgot to say!
*Turn around where possible. No the car, idiot!
*At the next roundabout take the 3rd exit.
What do you mean there are only two exits, what's the point of building a bloody roundabout then!
*Don't you get shirty with me. If you're so brilliant at navigation, why have you got me!?
*In 1 mile, take the exit marked "Town Centre", keep in the right lane, two lanes out from the one on the left, the one with the very suspect road surface, then immediately turn left, stick the middle finger of your right hand up your left nostril and sing the "Star Spangled Banner!"
OK, so I might have made some of that up!
*You're lost!
*I'm lost!
*How am I supposed to help you get there when you don't even know where 'there's is!?
*Well turn me down why don't you but you're nothing without me!
*This is all going to end badly you know!
