Ingredients:
A revolution, aged and volatile.
Falling markets.
A large selection of well-educated people.
A bitter slice of the Iran–Iraq War.
A whole country transformed into a theocratic state.
A pinch of the death of a president.
Billion-dollar B-2 bombers.
A severe economic strain.
The entirety of the I.R.G.C.
A century of cold distrust with the West.
Several spikes in oil prices.
Drone attacks, garnished with counter-attacks.
A large supply chain shock.
Tensions, specifically with the U.S. - ground to a fine powder.
Cancelled flights and intercepted missiles.
Reparation flights in hand.
Hundreds of deaths.
Failed plans intending to liberate a people - now shaken liberally around the world, left to find whatever life they can.
Missiles, for both sides to launch.
Seasoned with death and misery.
A handful of despair to decorate.
Method:
Preheat the area (it’s already warm). The ships alight in the Straits of Hormuz will help with that.
Marinate a people with a deep and ancient heritage. Place them into an impossible situation.
Simmer half of the million-dollar Tomahawk cruise missiles in the skies above the capital - save some for later.
Reduce to total chaos. Choke the shipping lanes until the oil thickens.
Say no to nuclear missiles. Julienne the borders until the humanitarian, economic, and security consequences spill out.
Search for the end game. If one can’t be found, simply whisk up widespread displacement and increased migration, then dribble on risks of global financial instability.
Moisten with a squadron of F-35 jets if required.
Rest for five minutes. Iranians can’t.
Blanch a civilization which goes back thousands of years.
Warm aircraft carriers ready to dispatch and knock back this rich tapestry of a country. Pull it apart—bit by bit.
Add destroyers, warships, and maybe a few "boots on the ground."
Turn out this objective of a deranged President onto an unprepared work-surface.
Finally, cobble together a complete regime change—from the skies above, if necessary.
Serve:
Pour out this once-proud culture, once profoundly shaped with poetry, hospitality, and a complex social etiquette of politeness and deference. Display a rich, diverse culture with a mix of Persian, Azeri, and Kurdish traditions.
Alternatives:
Try replacing the war with a long-lasting and comprehensive two-state peace deal.
Try ensuring security for Israel and a viable, sovereign state for the Palestinians.
Add a splash of regional stability and the cessation of proxy conflicts.
You might even try a couple of crumbs of humanitarian recovery.
Nutritional Warning:
Ask yourself: Who am I fighting? Who am I in a conflict with? Surely not the ordinary Iranian people—haven’t they suffered enough?
Warning: May contain traces of lost generations. Results are permanent. Not suitable for human consumption.
