attending your sacred house today
the day of rest which you 'laid on'
so we mere mortals might come and pray
The cat was sick on mothers hymn book
Dear Lord forgive her choice of phrase
no such language have I heard
Indeed I learnt a brand new word
lucky that her words were slurred
on the floor in a drunken haze!
Dear Lord forgive our tardiness
attending your sacred house today
the car wouldn't start; it's rather old
the suspension's shot and might give-way!
And but a mere mortal I
Dear Lord to get her our the door
would test a saint of that I'm sure
a sherry glass smashed on the floor
So if we're late - then you know why
Dear Lord forgive our tardiness
attending your sacred house today
we're on the way but running late
Mothers now on the 'Beaujolais'
Dear Lord please forgive her drunken state
please provide a miracle
of burning proof empirical
make her fruity words sound lyrical
and hurry Lord - this can't wait!
Dear Lord forgive our tardiness
but we've made it here today!
and forgive our odd appearance
oh and another word - if I may?
The church lane's surface has been attacked by moles
mothers dentures are who knows where
her bra-straps let go, through wear and tear
and their contents have taken to the air.
...Dear Lord you might be good at saving souls
but please give some thought to fixing those holes
