(This really is a performance piece so
click here and listen to me read it)
The bloody roads
'Hanger Lane Gyratory' is always like a blocked bog after a stag doo
the M25's a bloody carpark
and now there's a war on
which we're bound to get dragged into
and will probably turn into WW3!
All the prices are gonna go up even more
the cost of the food shop my missus gets in
is going through the roof!
I'm running round the house telling the kids not to leave the bloody lights and the telly on.
whilst Donald Trump is dropping bombs on the middle East
upsetting everyone
he's slapping tarrifs on countries he's never 'eard of
and they threaten to block the shipping routes
so the price of petrol goes up
and here's me
trying to make a living
earn a crust
to feed my family
and all my costs are going through the roof.
Bloody Sadiq Khan an' 'is ULEZ
no thought for the workin' man
I can't afford an electric van
so I have to pay the bleedin' ULEZ charge every time I get a job in town
and pass it on to my customers
who ain't happy
and are probably going to go somewhere else
or to B&Q and do it themselves
whilst that stuffed shirt in number 10
the one I voted for
the party I gave my vote to
the one I've always voted for
'cos I thought they'd stand up for the workin' man like me
like what my old man did
when he worked at Dagenham on the cars
he was a labour man
through and through
and then 'Starmer' turns round and tells Rachel from accounts
to increase my costs cos I run a business
whilst I can't get in to see my GP for 6 weeks about my knee
what happenes if I can't work and have to go on the social
which they're gonna cut by the way and make you jump through even more hoops for
and all to save a miserable five billion quid
which I know is a lot
but it ain't in the scheme of things
I mean let's talk about the NHS
if ya wanna talk billions
let's talk about the NHS
I mean I'm a fair man
but really
I don't mean to grumble but...
Really?
