Trying To Get a Pair of 80 year olds Out The Door (Is It Switched On?)

Trying to get two '80 year olds' out of the door to go shopping is like trying to get blood out of a stone,
like try to knit fog,
hurd cats,
nailing jelly to a wall,
pushing a blancmange up a hill with a feather duster.


#2 to #1
"Have you got your mobile and is it switched on?",
"Yes, I have my mobile but it's not switched on", replies #1
"Well switch it on!" says #2 "so I can ring you!"
"OK, I'll just go and get it".
"You said you had it!" questions #2
"Where's the shopping list?" #1 asks
"It's on the side there" points #2.
#1 picks it up, then drops it on the floor,
then ignores it.
"Right I'll just go and get my mobile" #1 adds.
"Is it switched on!" repeats #2
#1 goes to get mobile,
walking over shopping list now on the floor,
comes back with mobile and now is wearing a cardigan. 
#1 goes to put mobile in small cardigan pocket,
"No no no, that's no good, you'll loose it!" says #2 "is it switched on?" they add.
"I'll go and get my coat" says #1
#1Takes off the cardigan, whilst #2 pops out to do something in the driveway, smartly returning saying,
"I'll do that later".
#1 also returns.
"Where's the shopping list?" asks #1
"On the floor" says #2
#1 puts the mobile in one pocket of the jacket,
then picks up shopping list, putting that in the other pocket.

"Now. Have you told the gardener?" #1 asks #2
"Yes" replies #2.
"Is it switched on?"
"Have you told the cleaner?" #1 asks #2.
"Yes" replies #2
"Is it switched on?"

"Is it switched on?" asks #2 of #1
"What?" replies #1
"Your mobile, is it switched on? I need to ring you!"
"No, but I'll switch it on",
as we finally head for the door.
"Is it switched on" #2 repeats,
"OK. I'll make sure I switch it on!" #1 replies, fumbling with the mobile.
"It's switched on!" #1 exults!

...we leave the house.


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