Christmas Pudding Ingredients

Flour and fat.
And breadcrumbs and syrup.
And peel and apple and carrot and fruit.
And that stuff you find at the bottom of your handbag.
And fluff from your belly-button.
And ear wax!
And an old sweet left in the glove compartment of your dad’s car for at least a million years.
And the loose change from your mum’s coat.
And that screw you lost.
And all those bits you find at the bottom of everybody’s freezer.
And all the other things you find that you don’t want when you are trying to find something else.

A sock.
And the stuff that covers your clothes after some twit leaves something in the pocket of a pair of trousers which then gets washed.

Dust.
And that soap and hair mixture that blocks the plug hole after mum washes her hair in the bath.
And rock from mars!
And nuts and dark sugar and booze and spices and stuff!

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