Football philosophers

'Professor Foot' stated that it was all
about passing the ball. His most esteemed
colleague; 'Professor Ball' agreed. The

debate deepened; "What! - My mother
could do better than that!" After much
quoting from the good book; a very deep

tome called 'The Match Programme' -
the offending players actions were discussed
at length and it was decided that he was

indeed, 'a tosser!' The next ten minutes
were spent debating the pros and cons
of 'Professor Foots' mothers' match

skills; and the merits of having one's
mother in ones side! "Off-side? Would
you like to borrow my specs?" probed

'Professor Ball' of the linesman, who
seemed unable to process such a
deep and philosophical concept, and

so ignored 'Professor Ball' and continued
to make mistake after mistake, reinforcing
'Professor Balls' theory; which states that

"any linesman not giving every throw-in
to his team - must be a tosser!" This theory
had been worked-on painstakingly; in

the pub before the game; where many
of 'Professor Balls' colleagues and students
had been studying the bottoms of several

beer glasses; for many an hour before the
matches kick-off! "Off-side again?" - the debate
continued; and the game, carried on unnoticed!

"Tosser!"