Must have:
An alcohol and nicotine addiction.
Several packs of cheap lager.
Several packs of cigarettes.
Cash, to buy more lager and more cigarettes.
A cloak, preferably with a hood ('Luke Skywalker' style).
A staff with a twisted end and of similar style to above.
A torch, any type of torch., a head torch, an LED torch, a flashing cycle torch (front or rear), any type of torch!
A beard and a pony-tail (males and females).
A drum - any type will do.
Bins bags to sit on, sleep in and wear.
A need to walk around crocheting (or other similar unusual habit).
A deep understanding of the Nation Trust and their weird ways with parking.
A hat (a rabbit type with big long ears is fine).
A pale complexion.
More alcohol.
Two ponies.
A guitar (out of tune is preferred)
A broken down, rattly and poorly looked after ex-Post Office van.
The children, the younger the better.
Mead.
Rizzlas, matches and tobacco ('nough said).
An open mind.
Resilience and a good pair of shoes
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