wah di wah di wah di wah
Yeah,
no,
yeah,
no,
blah blah blah blah blah!
ah but,
yeah but,
no but,
yeah but,
no but,
wah wah wah wah wah,
Wah!
Why
Why did I enter the race if I've never sailed a boathouse before?
Why is the wind so strange?
Why did the rain gather in the street?Why is the sun so Brighton beautiful?
Why can fish; fish?
Why might tomorrow already be there?
Why might tomorrow already be there?
Why did you repeat that lion?
Why is this hill so hard to ruin down,
and January come before Wednesday in my colender?
Why have I got a beard if I haven't got a beard trimmer?
Why are the joys of growing up?
Why are there fish walking down my street if they can't even ride a bicycle?
Why does the road beneath me move if I'm standing tall?
Why does coffee make my sugar taste so sweaty?
Why have I got birthday cake if she's not even my birth-mother?
Why can't sealions see?
Why do some people?
Why is the time?
Why when?
Why so confused am I am if so confused I am I - why!
WHY?
The couple in the old jag
Parked on the main drag
the couple in the old Jagshe finishing her nag
adds he's not much of a shag.
He finishes his fag,
calls her an old hag,
with permanent jetlag,
dressed in a dishrag,
she's not one to brag
She replies - scumbag!
His retort - old slag!
Then he raises the white flag.
Starting to gag,
she reaches for her handbag,
from red flag
to green flag
she leaves in a huff!
Smart
Smart watch wakes man up.
Man checks smart watch.
Smart watch says man slept well!
Man asks smart speaker to play "inspirational" playlist.
Smart speaker reminds man it's time for breakfast!
Man asks smart speaker for healthy breakfast options.
Man makes high protein,
low calorie breakfast
smart speaker suggested.
Smart speaker reminds man it's time for gym!
Man runs to gym.
Smart watch notes steps and heart rate.
Man schedules thirty minutes on treadmill,
smart watch measures steps, heart rate and calories burnt.
Smart watch congratulates man - "good job!"
Time to shower,
then to work.
Man runs to work.
Again; smart watch measures steps and heart rate.
Man enters office,
sits at work-station,
smart watch and smart phone synchronize with work-station.
Man asks smart watch to clock him on.
Man works.
Schedules to keep.
Time for meetings.
Smart watch sounds reminders all morning.
Lunch time.
Man walks round corner to café.
Man buys avocado salad and skinny latte,
noting calories on smart phone.
More work.
More meetings.
More smart watch reminders.
Another skinny latte,
again calories noted on smart phone.
Day done.
Man clocks off using smart phone.
Runs home,
again smart watch notes steps and heart rate.
Home.
Man asks smart speaker to check messages.
Man prepares healthy tea.
Checks smart phone.
Starts timer on smart phone.
Gets side tracked.
Stumbles into lounge.
Knocks grandfather clock over,
clock falls - crash!
Clock stops on exact time of incident.
Man falls to floor.
Bangs head on fallen grandfather clock,
collision kills man,
smart watch notes time of heart beat stopping,
smart speaker says "life insurance policy is up for renewal".
Smart fridge tells smart speaker "we're out of low fat, high protein cheese!"
as timer goes off on smart watch - "healthy tea is ready"
...how smart is that!
All So Very Noisy
The noise paint makes whilst it drys.
The sound of sweat being produced by cyclists.
The deafening sound of a sunset.
All those noises brown hair makes when it gets dyed blonde.
The noise of an empty wine glass.
The noise a chair cover makes when no-one sits on it.
The din made by a beautiful view.
The noise grass makes as it grows.
The sound of the sun.
The neighbours - thinking.
The sound a two-piece suit emits.
The noise an idea makes.
The sound a curtain makes,
as it slowly fades in the sun.
The roar a leaf.
The sound of a stare.
The fretfulness of a hole.
The termoil of a stair gate.
The commotion of a candle.
The bedlam from your glasses.
The cry of a disconnected pair of headphones.
The disquiet of a plastic chair.
That noise carpets make.
Ceramic tiles on a wall.
The sound of history.
Gone off cheese.
A book.
Smoke.
Soil...
...all so very noisy!
Shopping List
1. You need something but you don't know what.
2. Try going to a shop,
they sell things!
3. Make sure you are talking on your mobile at all times,
maybe the person you're talking to knows what you need and can help you!
4. Keep talking on your mobile until you know why you've gone into the shop.
5. When the person you are talking to tells you what to buy, and you find it,
pick it up and approach the cashier with the essential item.
6. You must keep talking on your mobile,
especially when you get to the cashier.
7. You are only allowed to stop talking to select your digital wallet from your mobile to pay for said item.
8. When you think your payment has gone through,
ensure you return to talking on your mobile immediately - even though your payment hasn't gone through yet!
9. Under no circumstances must you interact with anyone,
especially the cashier!
10. Head to the door immediately!
11. Remain talking on your mobile!
12. Meet up with the person you were talking to on your mobile,
...outside the shop door!
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