The modern car requires no key to start it - it starts by magic
with a loud chant of "STARTIO!"
Once started, everything works with magic spells!
The magic spells you'll need to control your vehicle will all be listed in the user manual supplied with the vehicle
You will need to learn the verbal part of the spell
and the finger movements to go along with it.
Initial attempts at spells can produce hilarious results
not providing you with the outcome you expected!
To check you have made the correct combination whilst attempting a spell
the modern vehicle is provided with a screen on the dashboard
full with options
and using a magical flick and spell
you can run through the options
selecting the one you need with another; magical finger flick and the spell "Selecto!"
Refer to the user manual if you get stuck.
Once you have mastered a few spells you find that everything is controlled simply by using magic
the gears
wipers
headlights
the windows
the ejector-seat and so on.
An example might be you need to ask the car if it might go a little faster
if the car is in a good mood and you have located the correct spell
it will let you go faster
lifting it's speed limiter function a little - but it might not as it might be in a bad mood!
Either way it will "bing bong" at you - you will find that it will "bing bong"at you a lot!
Some issues are due to the fact that deep within the modern vehicle there is lives a wizard.
This wizzard interprets your commands but does have a wicked sense of humour
for instance if you need to go somewhere you've never been before
you can ask the wizzard the route to take
this is done by simply chanting the spell,
"Directo!"
waving your fingers and thinking hard of where it is you want to go to.
The wizzard will "bing bong" it's approval
and will magically show you a map of the route on the screen
but it will laugh at you if you go the wrong way!
A chant of "too lazyo!" and a magical flick of your fingers can also open or close the tail-gate of your vehicle - because getting out of the car and walking round to the back of it is such a faff!
The vehicle is also supplied with magical tray which will charge your mobile phone using invisible waves of magic energy
Other magical waves allow you to link your mobile phone to the sound system within the vehicle
but only if the wizard approves of your tunes will it play them for you - he won't if they are naff!
In the back of the modern vehicle
and available only to the rear passengers
there is a coffee machine
and a toasted sandwich maker...
...OK - I made that last bit up!
