(Haiku)

Not to be rude, but...

you really don't understand 

sarcasm do you!

Working Title

Incompetence covered with a gown

long and touching the groun-d

crumble the meanings attempted 

poetry lamen-ting

it's crashing non rhymes - ping?

...and grind!

the poetic chaos of one's minds - eye

and sometimes words perceived

crowbarred in

received

half-rhymes even squeezed

in

or smashed

into a car-crash

a mad poetic "supermarket sweep"

type trolley-dash

unconsidered - and not appropriate 

words that do not consolidate 

bring nothing to an already lawless state 

the attempted meaning

to a left or right 

or slightly centered leaning

don't work as one - bringing

nothing to the story

just bringing - fury 

and nothing of - glory

quite the - cont-rary

to the poetic mind

this explosion of random thoughts

onto a page is - bought

a mal-a-prop of sorts

the work of an out-of-conrol-head

work better not read

but listened to - instead

I'll read it in bed

'nd try not to loose the thread

instead

despite all I said

Too Much Time

I have a mug with a painting of a robin on it

I have a small torch that fits inside a black woolly hat

I have a dog sat on her bed in the sunshine in the lounge window

I have candles

I have full fibre broadband

...I have bad back

and I have too much time on my hands

Shut The Line Again

There was a bus in the village pretending to be a train

they're doing something somewhere and have shut the line again!

A bus with delusions of grandeur 

to a train is no match

well at least it's better than nothing and it's something we can catch - that said I could easily have caught the flu

something I would rather not do!

"Rail replacement" this bus was called

if it's there tomorrow they'll be appalled 

the men in suits will have a committee formed

and feet upon the fire warmed 

of those who this the trouble caused

the total equalibrium paused 

I'm not sure if they have even tried

to find why such action was applied

it'll be like on the highways with all those cones

with a number to call which no-body phones

but they'll mutter and moan and never claim 

"BOLLARDS!" -  that's their proper name!

And then upon a post I saw

next to the deserted station - and covering the floor

posters explaining the reasons why

they'd need two weeks for a solution to apply

"track through the tunnel is life expired"

so track replacement work required 

that will shut those suits up tight

work to get them home safe at night

to make sure nothing comes off those rails...

at least it'll be nice and quiet - but with no ticket sales!

Tittle-tattle

Been here for years and 

not one to "prattle"

Ya know - not keen on "tittle-tattle"

we like to keep ours noses out 

but, I see things when I am about

like, I don't think him and her are still as one

I don't quite know what either's done

They are new across the way

only came the other day

the "bizzy-body" down the road

still sticks her nose round our abode

and him who's always at his bike 

cleaning and tinkering as ya like

he is a mechanic so there it goes 

washing it with his high pressure hose

and there's the one who I can't decode 

says she hates everyone in the road

those two there -  they're retired 

tending their garden even when it's not required 

and that family with kids that always decorate 

their house each season - something I hate

and him with his flag pole without consent

flying a flag for every event

and that bloody dog - as bold as brass

barks at us every time we pass

there's the grumpy one, he always moans

there's nothing right with anything he owns

but she's alright, she's had it tough

some kind of illness - think she's had enough

Him in the corner lost his missus

I don't think it was all hugs and kisses

not really for me to say

but I saw him out, the other day!

Like I said, we keep our noses out 

it's not our business - and there's no doubt

and it's not really for me to say

but...

I myself 

I wouldn't do it that way

Nah not really!

Tech Talks

Apparently our air fryers are talking to the Chinese government 

telling them what we're having for tea.

Our hair straighteners are telling them just how grey we are all going

and our toasters just how often we burn our toast.

You thought your camera doorbell was keeping an eye on just who came to the door...

It's not

it's reporting back on how often you mow the front lawn

and what pattern you give it.

Got one those digital "Alexa" thingys?

Think on!

Every time you use the word "hippopotamus" 

the Chinese government get sent a report 

on which episode of "Corry" you're watching

They're not to be trusted!

These smart devices - they communicate with the enemy!

I had to get up for a wee the other night

and I caught my electric toothbrush and beard trimmer 

at it on the landing!

Don't trust them! 

They're going to reproduce

and take over.

They're going to take-over the world!

Once the computers and the smart phones get involved - you take care!

It's not called a smart phone for nothing you know!

Hey it's true - the Chinese voices in my head told me so!