the whole shopping experience shouts at you
scanners beep at you to tell off if you make a mistake with a
"telling you off noise"
tills beep at you
card machines blow you a 'raspberry' when you get it wrong!
shops in general shout
doors "Whoosh" open for you
PA systems play music,
adverts
announcements
staff on walkie-talkies chatter
shouting into to gadgets on their heads
pushing things in their ears
talking loudly to someone somewhere else in the shop
everything in the modern car shouts at you
when you open doors
when you close doors
"Your doors are still open"
"Your boot is still open"
"Your fuel is low"
"Your charge is low"
'Caution - you are reversing"
(why wouldn't you know you are reversing?)
mobile phones shout constantly
incoming messages
phone calls
social notifications
battery low warnings
"Bing-bong"
"Bing-bong"
"Bing-bong"
everything in your kitchen shouts at you
modern cookers
ovens
microwave ovens especially are very vocal
modern hobs shout all the time
"You've placed something on me and I don't like it!"
"You've left a drop of liquid on me, I don't like it so wipe it away or I will shut down!"
washing machines "beep beep beep I'm badly loaded"
dishwashes - "beep beep beep I've finished, come and empty me right away!"
tumble driers - 'beep beep beep I've stopped annoyingly just twenty minutes after I started, shall I carry on?"
hearing aids can't turn on without playing a little tune
they talk to each other through your head "beep beep? ...Beep!"
computers
computers on "beep beep beep, yes you've turned me on"
computers off - "beep beep beep yes I'm shutting down! Bare with!"
printers make noises when turning on and turning off - they make random moaning noises whilst printing
then they shout "my printer cartridges are getting low!" noises
and "I'm out of paper!" noises
and "silly human, the paper is not correctly loaded!"
and "silly human, the paper is now jammed!" noises
and house alarm noises play on your mind!
"Beep"...
..."I'm about to go off!"
"Beep - I might go off"
"Beep - I might go off"
"Beep - I'm about to go off but I'm not telling you when!"...
(evil laugh - pause...)
..."Beeeeeeeeeeep!"
car alarms shout at you in the middle of the night and wake the whole street
Trains!
railway stations are always shouting at you
"Mind this! Mind that! Don't do this! Don't do that!
...Don't leave that there!"
then when you get on the train you're always being told not to do this and that
"Don't leave your bags...
Have your tickets ready..."
Fridges...
fridges don't shout at you
My fridge doesn't shout at me!
Does your fridge shout at you?
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