Guilt

As I undress in preparation for a shower
I turn and catch myself in the full-length bathroom mirror
and am horrified by my bulging stomach.

I have eaten too many crisps lately.
I love crisps.
I then remember the large pack of crisps I half ate yesterday
leaving the other half for the weekend - as if 
as if saving half was some minor win for me
or something 
but still a sense of guilt washes over me.

I take my shower.

Later, I'm stood in the kitchen
and another wave of guilt washes over me
as I finish off the packet of crisps.

I love crisps!

Hair

I had my hair cut once 
Twelve quid it cost
only for it to grow back! - I'm not falling for that trick again!

it's not just...

It's not just the strength of the brick 
more the team-work between the bricks and the mortar.

It's not just a coastline.
It's the end of the land
and the start of the water 
it's rugged
stunning
and it's dangerous - it's the seas edge.

It's not just a leaf - an annoying thing that sticks to your shoe in the damp Autumn mornings
that you walk into the house 
and that collects in piles that you have to sweep up.
It's a food 
food for trees and plants 
it produces oxygen for us to breathe
it absorbs the carbon dioxide we create
it absorbs water from the soil around the tree
and it is beautiful.

It's not just area of grass.
It is a space 
lovingly prepared 
for two teams to do battle on
for hopes and aspirations
for dreams to be made - or crushed.

It's not just a slug under your foot 
It's a key part of the eco-system
a composter
breaking down plant waste and recycling it for good.

It's not only girls that skip
more  
that boys feel the urge to skip - but they surpress it
incase their mates see them doing it
and call them 'gay'
It's not going to make a boy 'gay' if he skips - but maybe they think so.

It's not just a word - 'Dad'.
It's a title
earnt 
through late night nappy changes
walking them to school
being there
teaching them right from wrong - it's an example
a role. 

It's not just dough 
cheese and tomato paste
ham and onions 
and mushrooms if you like.
It's a Friday night treat
a celebration of a week's work done
it's bringing a family together
It's important.

It's not just day after day after day.
It's a life to do good
to teach your children well
to leave this place in a better shape than when you arrived
to love and be loved
to pass on memories
to make people glad they knew you
and that they had you in their lives.

Isn't it?



 

Hate Love Hate

I hate all this weather we're having
I love a shot on goal
I hate the way stars lap upon a deserted beach
I love it when a train passes
I hate it when people paint shop doorways
I love blue socks
I hate the way people spin this planet 
I love ploughing my beard
I hate the way hills go up steeply
I love the rustling of plastic bags
I hate the colour of trees in winter
I love the sound of frozen breath 
I hate wind-turbines on hill tops
I love broken smiles
I hate the rigidity of grass
I love the silence of wind
I hate the tick of a clock
I love the tock 
I hate it when fish block the escalator on the underground when carry too much shopping in a pink balloon 
Trifle
Suitcase 
Football...
I love sound of a fresh mown lawn
I love writing nonsense poems 
but white is the wrong colour


Who Will We Be

Who will we be
in the future - and 
what 
what will we be
if we are lucky enough
to have a future
before the hand of time 
sweeps
and the wind comes knocking
at the letterbox 
and blows our ashes away
who will we be
will we be just 
old people - are we not 
old people now
will we even be together 
will our dreams have come to be
for we have dreams
but
will they come to be
what will time turn us into
or
do to us
and
how will it shape us
will life have changed us so we don't resemble 
anything 
that we are now - nor ever wanted
disease 
illness
what will be 
will be
but will your hand be there to hold
in the dark days
will your hand be there to hold
like we did that first time
when I reach out for you
will you be there
will I still be there for you
either way
that our paths crossed that day
and our hearts entwined
and that we set out
together 
is enough

Wet Skies in the Hallway

Wet grey skies empty beer-gardens and high streets - filling garden centre cafes
forecasts predict ruined weekend plans
unfinished Saturday morning gardening promises 
unlikely sporting afternoon aspirations 
through the open patio door as if...
as if summer still shone
warm and bright - but not so
as raindrops hit the unused...
unusable 
patio surface; hard
raindrops drown in water-logged 
unmown lawns
the colour of Autumn changing leaves
fallen 
lay - another job undone
amidst Sunday evenings anxiety
sit and watch Sundays 
hour-hand 
sweep you into another working Monday morning
as another list of good intentions lay dying in front of your eyes
another weekend 
laying dead at your feet
to the tick...
tock... 
tick...
of the grandfather clock
standing in the hallway