the male of the species
leave the nest and head to the local petrol station.
They go in search of alcohol and rubbish things to eat
the kind of foods the female wouldn't touch nor feed theie off-spring.
The average male needs many cans of lager, found in packs of 4 - the cheaper the better
to wash down the trays of those meatballs - the rip off copies of those by the famous out of town Swedish furniture store.
A favourite of the male are the over-priced sandwiches
because the male isn't able to place
a filling of their choosing
in-between two slices of Co-ops finest sliced white themselves.
They are then found with handfuls of bags of sweets
and as many packets of crisps as they can carry - of course they didn't bring a bag
so drop some.
Notice how they've gone dressed in the shirts of their favourite football teams
some nights they go in preparation for an event called the "Big Match"
an event where United get stuffed by City - as usual
The cans of lager help the male see the best of their team where perhaps there isn't any
especially as United are 15th in the league and falling like a rock!
Fully stocked
and quite unexpectedly
the males don't return straight to their nests
but stop off at a place known as "the pub" where they are known
to buy hooky gear from a guy called "straight Tony"
as well as having a pint or six
despite their recent purchases from the petrol station.
On finallyreturning to the nest in the wee small hours
we see the female waiting on the door step.
The female will greet the male with
a piercing scream shouting
"If you've spend the bloody rent money again and pissed it up against a wall - I'll bloody well kill you!"
Slaming the door in the the males face
the female returns to the off-spring in the nest
the male
once more
faces another cold night sleeping in his van.
Quite how these two ever made a nest together
and managed to have four children - is beyond me!
