What Am I Supposed To Do?

People don't see me.
People don't see the situation I'm in.
How can I get out of something most people don't even see I'm in?
When you're not even visible to most people - how do I get help?
What is help anyway?
What would help me?

Most people don't care about people like me
I'm just something that people walk around
I'm the turd on the pavement that people step in because no-one sees it
and those few who do see it just 
give it a wide birth
and so they don't do anything about it
so walk on
and leave it for someone else to step in.

I am here
"Hello!"
I am here because I have no postcode I could give you
no street that is my street
no house number
nowhere you could drop that parcel off at
no town to call my own town
no people to call my neighbours 
So what if I do spend the money you give me
when I'm out begging for it
on drugs and booze!
So what!
You've never been in my situation 
forced to live out on the streets 
in the cold and wet
Drugs and booze take me away from this hell
for hell is where I am.

No money
No home
No job
No chance of getting a job
No job to get money 
No money to get a home
No home to get a job
No hope...

What am I supposed to do?

The Lottery Terminal

"Hello - just give me a second
I'm just checking your lottery numbers...

Ah
commiserations 
you've not won the lottery again
but we really value your two pound outlay each week
with your lucky numbers 
and you did match two numbers
so...

as we're nice 
and don't want you to work out that you only have the slimmest of chances on winning the jackpot anyway...

here's a free ticket
a free entry for another day
so you can win nothing - another time!"

Outside Looking In

I'm outside looking in
and I'm staring in bewilderment 
at an historical situation 
a political situation
which now has become a military situation 
an argument
a disagreement about rights 
a conflict of opinions 
over lands
and ownership of lands
about the rights - or not
to be on those lands
different factions
different peoples
about their faiths and beliefs 
their opinions - differing opinions
I see people that aren't listening to the words that many are saying
to the advice that is being given
from allies - those who support and supply them
to the mothers who are begging
to the men who are fighting
to children who are dying
to the politicians who are negotiating  
across borders
across contested borders
to those who launch the missiles
their supporters supplied
into lands they call their own
to kill 
to change minds
to change history 
to displace 
people they disagree with
to kill their leaders 
to cut off the heads of the groups they despise 
sat in lands that they believe are theirs
and with fingers on triggers 
and with fingers in ears
some minds set only on what has gone before
making peace a thin vaneer
as fragile as porcelain
these factions will maintain their ground
what little ground they have
but ground they will fight over
in order to keep
for although an international agreement was signed
it was one which not all could agree to
and one which many still disagree over
an agreement which stamped the borders we see now
onto the most unstable part of the world 
an arrangement not all the aggrieved partners took as gospel 
an agreement which saw people displaced from homes
political factions
and locations
neatly set-up 
on top of historical peoples
whose armed factions are prepared to fight to the last man standing 
over their right to be
to be where they believe in
to be where they believe their right is
and where they are prepared to kill 
to keep
kill or be killed
the ideologies are engrained over millennia 
in which all believe 
they are right
but as days pass
over the days I've written this piece
I've observed - and had to write more
to rewrite
for
things have got worse
a change
not for the better
not towards an end - a peaceful end
but more war...

Will this ever end?


Foolish weren't we

When we were young
we'd fanticize about the future and what it would bring.
We thought we'd be dressed in silver metal suits and have our own flying cars
and we'd all be wearing small communication devices on our wrists!
Maybe we'd have human colonies in space 
even one on mars!

We hoped there'd be robots. 
Robots would do all the chores we hate - like hoovering 
and we'd harness the power of the sun to run it all.
We did worry that every person might have a connected device in their pocket 
like some "big brother" device
watching our every move
tracking us where-ever we went
limiting everything we bought and could do.

We imagined our food would be ordered on this device - coming to us frozen
and we'd be able to cook it in a machine at the push of a button!
We thought that we'd do all our shopping on these devices
and everything would be either delivered to our houses 
...or we'd pick it up from the local petrol station.

Of course we thought we wouldn't need cash anymore 
and we'd never see our money
it would just be paid into a central  Artificial Intelligence or 'AI'
and to buy something over £100 - I know!
One hundred pounds!
...we'd just have to confirm to an 'AI' that we weren't an 'AI' ourselves 
when another 'AI' asked us!

We'd pay for small things by tapping a small...
portable...
device...
onto a terminal...

Foolish weren't we!

I Would

I can't write fully about cancer - because I've never had it
I can't imagine living in a war zone - because I've never had to 
and my bones have never been broken 
unlike my heart

I can't write about loosing a child - because I've never lost one
I can't imagine what it's like to be homeless -  because I've never had to live out on the streets 
and my life has never been turned upside down
unlike some.

I've never had a boundless hate for someone or something 
I've never been without someone to love or who loves me 
I've never been right to the edge and wanted to take one more step
I love the dark and the calm it brings me.

I can't write about a life after death because I don't think there is one
I can't write about being unhappy...
because I'm not
but - I'm a poet
and if I was...

I would

Steel Town - What Now?

The whooshing noises and huge clouds of steam 
like the red fire-breathing dragon it once was - now herald its death
and with one last breath 
...the dragon is dead!
Welsh steel is no more
It is the end of an era
The machinery stops
and it spews out its rivers of virgin molten steel no more
and silence falls
and the temperatures drop
and the dust settles 
enshrouding 120 years of steel production
Steel town - closed under the need to go "green"
thousands of jobs - gone
lost for a lower carbon footprint 
decades of history
of family lineage
Grandfathers
Fathers
and sons
this right of passage
generation after generation 
this place which put food on the tables of thousands
street after street after street of workers 
every morning heading to the works 
whole communities decimated 
What now?
Steel is "Steel Town"
"Steel Town" is steel.
What now?
Contractors and external business
large and small - will close
What now?
What are those with many years of experience going to do?
Those who know nothing else
but steel...
What now?
What are they going to do?