Your Shoes Are Safe With Me

"There must be another way outta here" Certainly, which way did you come in Jimmy?

"I read the news today, oh boy!" What! Has Boris Johnson admitted to being at yet another party!?

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." Cheer up Coolio mate, you feeling a bit down?

"Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine..." Would you Killers like to go back into your cage?

"Hello darkness my old friend" Simon? Garfunkel? The bloody electric meter's gone again!

"Please allow me to introduce myself..." Go ahead, but we know who you are! You are Mick Jagger!

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." 'er, this new priest, Prince who did you say?

"First I was afraid, I was petrified.." Calm down Gloria, I'll put the lights back on!

"Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time..." What your majesty, get rid of everyone, put ya feet up in front of the telly with a curry on ya lap and a bottle of stout?

"There is, a house, in New Orleans " There are many houses in New Orleans! Is this one of the ones which got flooded?

" I said: hip-hop, a hippidy- hop, to the hip, hop you don't stop..." Do stop guys! I think you've put too much sugar into that 'Hill Gang' of yours!

"Carry on my wayward son..." Really? What kind of parents are you!?

" Do you have the time, to listen to me whine?" Er, no! My day is very green and very long. Stop whining!

"When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me..." Tells me Mother Superior wants to see me in her office - now!

"Some people call me the space cowboy..." Well you want to stop smoking that stuff Steve!

"On dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair..." The bloody heaters broken again and the soft - tops jammed!

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a womans man no time t'talk..." You've either got a stone in your shoe or your trousers are too tight Barry! No wonder your voice is so high!

"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories..." Of long car journeys and being sick a over my brother in the back seat!

And don't worry Elvis, your blue suede shoes are safe with me...


(Haiku - Duo)

This "time thing" we have
created. Have we made a
rod for our own backs?

By "time thing" I mean
days, mornings especially,
lunch hours and such like.

A New Years Lament

The monster that is January.
Endlessly dark it marauds through our minds.
We have no money,
no hope!
We're on the big downward slide after the Christmas and New Year high!

Dark without sunlight,
the dark bringing us down.
A thousand years 'til payday.
New years resolutions already broken,
Down - down - down!
Broken - broken - broken!

Our holidays are over,
we have to go back to work,
all is gloom - gloom - gloom!
Oh! How I hate New Years Day!


To see sun. To see
its warmth caress a soul a
human-being makes.


Sundays like clockwork. 
The same people, same actions
all at the same time.

So I Could Give That Love To Thee

The games we played; carefree.
Toast and marmalade for tea.
'Banana Splits' show on TV.
You were always there for me.

My heart would know that you would be
my doctor; teacher; devotee.
Able to fix a poorly knee
a kiss; it's better; 1-2-3.

Soft and warm and feathery
tucked in bed she read to me.
Setting sail across nights sea
and in the morning there you'd be. 

You a creative 'bel espirt'
Saturday 'ficks' at the A-B-C.
Fed and safe; secure but free.
Prepared for life as I should be.

Firm with love passed on to me
A loving home and you 'queen-bee'.
When time for bed was your decree,
complaints addressed with repartee!

Sparkle bright my Christmas tree.
An angel staring down at me
None more lovelier than she, 
(except the food which I could see!)

Natures hand can sometimes be,
a cruel hand; which it dealt to me.
It came to set your sweet soul free
and you set your sail across the sea.


When my children come to me,
to ask what type of person she
I gave them all a guarantee 
that her love is deep in me
and that she gave that love for free
so I could give that love to thee