I haven't the balls to juggle
nor to hang-glide
or to bowl for England
I'll never need a personal assistant
or a prosthetic leg
I've got plenty - and I don't want a cup of tea thank you!
I'll never be found rifling through someone else's draws
the family won't ever think that I did it
nor catch me standing on the corner of a street in L.A.
rolling a cigarette
and I'll never have to sleep on the floor of my own office - I haven't got one!
I never fancied the thought of thinking again
I'm never likely get some free tickets to a gig in London
I can't remember when I last went up in the world
I have no knead to make bread
and I'll never bomb out of a forensics degree - but I do have children.
I'll never crave the latest fashion - I don't fancy a kebab
I think they're ruining pubs
and I haven't got the standing to sit down
I haven't prepared a menu for the week - I'm not a discerning food critic
I never wanted to be an astronaut - but I did once turn down a job offer!
