Lady walking with
the aid of a stick and a 
bottle of vodka

Why Must Life be so Hard

Why must life... (sigh)
             ...be so hard

I've got so much to do
the staff are "oh-so-slow"
It's such a job to organise them
I've got to choose the red for dinner - the Malbec or the Bordeaux?

Why must life... (sigh)
             ...be so hard

The children take up so much time
nanny's not much use!
there's always so much that they need
where are they now - has nanny let them loose?

Why must life... (sigh)
             ...be so hard

Freddy needs new glasses
Timmy's under the "doc"
Lottie needs t'muck out the horses
and Cynthia at a birthday bash - tore her lovely party frock 

Why must life... (sigh)
             ...be so hard
There's nothing out for supper
I don't know what to do!
Cook is on her Friday off
I could go down and have a bash - but I simply don't have a clue!

Oh why must life be so hard!


The early morning mist wraps itself 'round trees
following the contours 
poking it's nose into rabbit holes!
Keeping its head down
on the run - impossible to catch
unsure of its intentions!
on its way somewhere
but never sure where!
Flooding valleys
painting fields white like frost
here then gone
...fleeing from the sun that will take it from us

Long Term Relationship

It's wonderful to share a long term relationship
to know that they are there for you 
to call upon
if needed
there to be relied upon
whether you're at work
or at home - where ever!
when needed
when life gets a little too much
when you just need a little lift
because we all have those times
don't we
first thing in the morning
just after lunch
that mid-afternoon slump...

and that thought of a long night ahead...

...to know that coffee is always there!


That digital stuff.
The "ones and noughts" stuff.
Data - that stuff that's always in the wrong place
Data is the stuff that always needs moving to somewhere else
That stuff on your phone
if it's on your phone 
you want it in the cloud
if it's on the cloud
you want it on your phone!

Analysing - that data!

The human race isn't going to be wiped out by pestulance and flood
we are going to be wiped out by the amount of data we are generating
It is said that the amount of data there is in the world now is one "Zettabyte"
A word I've never heard of
so I Googled it!

"The Zettabyte" - a unit of information equal to one sextillion (1021) or... 270 bytes.

Nowadays it's a case of how many terrabytes would you like?
There are Terrabyte USB pens
Terrabyte Micro SD cards the size of your fingernail
...forget your Terrabyte
this thing makes a Terrabyte 
look like an empty crisp packet!

So why all this space?
I blame social media!
It's all photos and videos
Who hasn't got 50 or 60 gigs of photos and videos on their mobile!
I have!
We have to photograph everything then send it to 500 of our so-called "friends"
All that data!
All that data we are sending round the planet
All that data having to be stored somewhere
being uploaded
being downloaded 
All that data being transferred 

YouTube has an "Exabyte" of data on it!
There you go - another word no-ones heard of!
It's a million terrabytes!

1 million terrabytes of 
how to mend a...
how to correct a faulty...
why is my...
what is this symbol on my...

and don't forget the...
"this is what I had for my tea!

It's going to be the death of us!