of nature contimplating
breakfast - nothing else
The Siege Of Stirling Castle 1304 - 2023
Across the heavily defended bridge that spans the critical forth river crossing
into the town of Stirling and up to the castle...
the tourist come
cars ladened
filling the carparks
tearing the town apart for what they can use to attack the castle with
large rucksacks full with picnic lunches
flasks of tea and bottles of water
all dressed ready for a battle
hiking boots - check!
sensible coats - check!
walking-poles - check!
factor 50 - check!
then,
once at the castle
cash aplenty
they buy their way in through the castle walls
whilst out on the lawns it's icecreams served at tourist prices
a carpark where battles raged
soldiers died in a fight for a castle
which meant a fight for a kingdom
now it's twenty quid to get in - a price the rampaging hoards couldn't even imagine
the cannons which once blazed
attempting, but failing to breach the thick stone walls
are now for sitting on and taking selfies
and standing tall
on a plinth on the manicured lawns
a stout metal fence around him
keeping him safe from the maraurding hoards of tourists
"Robert the Bruce" - 1247 to 1329
Monies paid - their access is assured
endless feet trample through the breached gateway
armed with QR codes to scan for those who booked online
or cash and cards for those who didn't
all making for the gift shop via the toilets
whilst mighty siege engines - "the trebuchet"
hurl lead balls
made on site from lead stripped from nearby church roofs
anything they could find
sandwiches bought from a supermarket in the town
near the multi-story carpark where they left their steeds
swords
daggers, shields and guidebooks
audio descriptions to download at three quid a pop
tell the castles story in a language of your choosing
tread where the faithful fought to defend their very being
slaughtered and died
and all this that we have come to see
many many hundreds of years after the event
moaning about how steep it is up from the town
with an ice cream in one hand
and a mobile phone in the other
(with a QR code ready 'cos we had the foresight to book ahead)
to walk in their very footsteps - albeit in far more comfortable footwear
we come to look - but will never fully realise
what hell went on here!
Dunblane March 1996
At 9.30am on the 13th of Match, 1996
eighteen of the people who went to Dunblane primary school that day were not to return home
sixteen were young, innocent school children who just went to learn
one was an adult, a dedicated teacher who just went to teach them
another one, an adult
just went to cause mayhem and murder
and in just four minutes
in a premeditated act
he slaughtered seventeen innocent people
and lives were changed forever
the name of a once peaceful town would forever be associated with the slaughter of innocence
and to this day, this remains the most deadliest shooting in British history.
In Dunblane Cathedral a memorial reads:
"But still I dream that somewhere there must be the spirit of a child that waits for me"
Matrix Warning Sign Messages
(Matrix signs on motorways are meant to inform, advise or warn drivers. Some make sense than others! - some of the following message are valid messages)
Don't jam potatoes up other peoples exhausts
Buying a fish a bicycle wastes money!
Seat belts! Front and back!
Marmalade makes your fingers sticky!
Tuck the curtain in when showering
If you can't read this get your eyes tested
Fish fingers are not the fingers of fish
Don't stick your finger in your ear when driving
Drive safe!
Don't ask a pigeons for directions
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
Sheep - turn left at the traffic-lights
Frustration causes accidents!
Driving tired kills!
Pass the 'dutchie' on the left-hand side
It's a long way to tiperary!
20's Plenty
At nought - a thought
10 now and then
20's plenty
30's flirty
40's naughty
50's shifty
At 66 you get your kicks
77 is the stairway to heaven
at 88 it might be too late
for at 99 hear sirens whine
at a hundred and one your race is run
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