Oh Mother (First world problems)

(Inspired by Sir John Betjeman and my Saturday morning today)

Oh mother where's the garlic press,

the garlic must be fresh!

I've little time for preparation 

and must get Johnny from the creche!

Oh mother the lawn is full of weeds,

the orchard's so unkempt.

I've no time now to tackle both

you'll have to make an attempt!

Oh mother the fresh ground coffee's 'orf', 

is this the cheaper brand?

The deli round the corner's stuff

is really rather grand!

Oh mother I have to get this done,

this 'paper' for the board.

I've got to do a presentation 

'else they'll 'put me to the sword!'

Oh mother can you walk the dog

the Beagal's going to howl!

She's on the sofa in the study

upon her face a lengthy scowl!

Oh mother I really need your help

Felicity's teacher is due.

It's very important she learns the flute,

like I was unable to do!

Oh mother life's so terribly hard,

the rest'rants, clubs, and tennis.

There's always I've so much to do

and I haven't yet packed for Venice!

Random observations #4

Man stares deeply into his coffee.

"No! I've already had deja vu" he says.

Young couple have full-on 'song' in their car,

but he is dyslexic and really wanted a 'full on snog!'

Old lady notices and 'tuts'.

The plumbers bathroom tap drips,

so much so that bright morning sunlight floods the hallway.

Oh,  go fly a kite!

Random Observations #3

Peat's been banned from garden centres.

"What's Peat done?"

asks a curious pigeon with a 'rolly' behind his left ear.

Me? I'd rather sit in a stand and get hypothermia than go to the shops in my pyjamas and dressing gown.

Bet that took the edge off the shop keepers day!

The octopus came to tea.

"So does a loaf of brown bread cancel out a bottle of white wine?

...I mean morally that is".

I'm doing this; so I can do all that,

on a different shitty day!

"Is that alright?"

Exciting

At the age of 10,

is there anything more exciting, 

than going into a shop,

with your Dad,

with a shiny £1 coin,

warm in your tightly clasped hand,

for you to spend,

on what you like!

Is there? 

Random Observations #1

Sat on a bench in a park,

a screen with a mask on.

Gale force wind.

I wear a coat so it must be cold,

the strong breeze takes a bald mans hat off

and the 'Gates' blow shut on a relationship of money verses love.

The weather forecast did say wind,

but for no reason!

The wind blows itself away. 

...Lying snow!

Bragging and telling tales,

about how, 

to be an artist,

you must have a fab pair of glasses!

Pool door opens.

Random Observations #2

Full-time four wheeled drive system takes day off. 

Fridge talks to me in quiet of early morning.

Click,

Click,

Tick,

Whirrrr!

Mr Smith forgets his cup.

Radio plays song,

wakes ghosts of times past.

In haste, 

man spills coffee.

Drops of rain touch my face

as the road climbs sharply in front of me.

Traffic lights change.