Your Shoes Are Safe With Me

"There must be another way outta here" Certainly, which way did you come in Jimmy?

"I read the news today, oh boy!" What! Has Boris Johnson admitted to being at yet another party!?

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." Cheer up Coolio mate, you feeling a bit down?

"Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine..." Would you Killers like to go back into your cage?

"Hello darkness my old friend" Simon? Garfunkel? The bloody electric meter's gone again!

"Please allow me to introduce myself..." Go ahead, but we know who you are! You are Mick Jagger!

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." 'er, this new priest, Prince who did you say?

"First I was afraid, I was petrified.." Calm down Gloria, I'll put the lights back on!

"Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time..." What your majesty, get rid of everyone, put ya feet up in front of the telly with a curry on ya lap and a bottle of stout?

"There is, a house, in New Orleans " There are many houses in New Orleans! Is this one of the ones which got flooded?

" I said: hip-hop, a hippidy- hop, to the hip, hop you don't stop..." Do stop guys! I think you've put too much sugar into that 'Hill Gang' of yours!

"Carry on my wayward son..." Really? What kind of parents are you!?

" Do you have the time, to listen to me whine?" Er, no! My day is very green and very long. Stop whining!

"When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me..." Tells me Mother Superior wants to see me in her office - now!

"Some people call me the space cowboy..." Well you want to stop smoking that stuff Steve!

"On dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair..." The bloody heaters broken again and the soft - tops jammed!

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a womans man no time t'talk..." You've either got a stone in your shoe or your trousers are too tight Barry! No wonder your voice is so high!

"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories..." Of long car journeys and being sick a over my brother in the back seat!

And don't worry Elvis, your blue suede shoes are safe with me...

oooops!

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