Shopping List

1. You need something but you don't know what.

2. Try going to a shop,

they sell things!

3. Make sure you are talking on your mobile at all times, 

maybe the person you're talking to knows what you need and can help you!

4. Keep talking on your mobile until you know why you've gone into the shop.

5. When the person you are talking to tells you what to buy, and you find it,

pick it up and approach the cashier with the essential item.

6. You must keep talking on your mobile,

especially when you get to the cashier.

7. You are only allowed to stop talking to select your digital wallet from your mobile to pay for said item.

8. When you think your payment has gone through,

ensure you return to talking on your mobile immediately - even though your payment hasn't gone through yet!

9. Under no circumstances must you interact with anyone,

especially the cashier!

10. Head to the door immediately!

11. Remain talking on your mobile!

12. Meet up with the person you were talking to on your mobile,

...outside the shop door!

Waving at trains

To wave at passing trains is a normal thing to do,

for if you waved at a passing bus,

the bus would probably stop for you.

The same would be for a 'private hire',

the bloke would stop ask; "where to squire?"

You wouldn't wave at a passing plane,

unless you'd been on the booze again!

If you waved like that at a passing copper

you'd more than likely come a cropper

he'd scribble notes in his notepad - then lock you up; thinking you were mad.

But to wave at train's a normal thing to do

and if you're lucky they'll wave back at you,

quite who they are I haven't the notion

they looked all blurred cos the train was in motion,

but; it is exciting to see a train

and they do it in movies - it's hard to explain.

The speed and the noise

and it's a friendly thing to do,

to wave back at someone who's waving at you!

So don't be shy and go down to the station

and wave at a train,

it could grip the nation - go on!

When

When does cool become cold?

When does tepid become warm,

hot become oppressive...

and when is enough?

When does a door become a barrier?

When does shut become locked,

secure become controlled...

and why can't I cope?

When do tears become rain?

When does fear become frightened,

charming become too much...

and when will it end?

When does will; become might,

loose become tight,

day become night,

OK become not right,

and dark become light

...what have I done - can the end be in sight!

Doesn't make sense

Dog snaps at flies.

A noisy fan - spins.

It's very hot today.

At least the flies aren't snapping at the dog!

Noisy fan clears the blue skies,

then snaps at dog.

Fan moves hot day around.

Blue fans in noisy clear sky,

at least they're not snapping at the dog

Noisy skies clear blue fans,

being a parent is very time consuming,

at least they're not snapping at children,

and the children aren't buzzing 'round the snapping dogs,

like noisy fans in the clear blue sky!

The snapping dog is ticking like a clock,

at least it's telling me how quickly life is passing.

Blue is the sky and flying with children.

whilst noisy fans,

snap at dogs,

consuming time,

ticking like a clock,

in a buzzingly blue sky - clearly.

...At least this piece doesn't make sense!

Like wasps 'round a honey pot

People come

(Wasps come)

to this beautiful spot 

(To this great hunting ground!)

to sit 

(to annoy)

with a coffee and some cake

(because there's coffee and cake)

like wasps 'round a honey pot!

We wasps like honey,

wasps come,

to this great hunting ground,

to buzz,

and annoy!

and drink the coffee and eat the cake,.

Mmm - yum!

For Charity

I've decided to give the lottery, on which I have a small flutter,

every now and then - a break.

I never won anything much anyway.

I'll have a go at the one with the million pound houses,

for a change...

...and on which I'll also never win anything.

But; hey - it is for charity!