This House

if I found myself alone in this life

I want to stay in this house 

this house is where we had our children

this house is where we loved and nurchered them

then sent them out into the world

there are holes in the walls here with stories to tell

memories at every turn

ghosts of happy times

shrieks of excited children

and the furniture is familiar 

and it also has a tale to tell

I am connected to this house

so connected that I want to - need to stay!

After the children left home

we focused on what it was that brought us together in the first place

what it was that clicked on the station that day

and then most of the time we had together 

together as us

we spent here

in this house

so if I found myself alone in this life

I want to stay in this house

...why would I want to move?

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Dressed in Black

A young woman dressed in black

deshevelled - could have been pulled through a hedge backwards just minutes before she came in

a women with a lived in face

she looked like she hadn't slept for a week

I don't think she lived on the street

but she looked like she could have

she had 'lived-in' features

you know

black rings around her eyes

unkempt hair

her makeup hadn't seen the makeup counter at 'Boots' for a while

she had money for fags - but looked liked she really shouldn't smoke so many of them

she had money enough to buy and run a mobile

I guess everyone has these days

she didn't take it from her ear

from entering the shop

until leaving it

save for paying for the fags she bought with it

she had apple pay set up

It went through OK

the chat she was having on her mobile seemed pleasant enough

she left no odurs 

drugs

alcohol

bad hygiene - despite looking a mess.

Who was she?

Was she out on the street?

Was she happy?

Was she safe?

She looked happy enough.

Can people who live on the street be happy?

This lady dressed in black seemed so

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(Haiku)

The last weekend, taps

me on the shoulder and says

"no more parties please!"

Big City

Big city

a city heat

relentless 

no air

can't open the window

can't cool down 

no breeze

nowhere to go

into the night

the iron road

rumbling over the viaduct 

up from the coast to this big city

noisy late night traffic down endless streets

noisy neighbours

music playing

arguements 

back-firing cars

revving engines

police sirens 

no peace

endless

turn into another street

off this road

into another

down this street

into another

round this roundabout

into another

through these traffic lights

into another

down this sliproad

into another

and another

and another

houses and houses and houses

claustrophobic big city

confusing

disorienting

bewildering

where am I

which way do I go

am I in the right lane

am I on the right road?

Big city

Not my city

Not my village

Not me

No!

The Beach Goods Shop

The beach goods shop is so much more than buckets and spades

it's childhood memories

go onto one and take a deep breath - that is my childhood

the colours and smells

remember the smell of a new plastic woven wind-break?

It's family trips

it's days out at the beach

summer holidays when the summer weather could be relied upon

sunburn and sandcastles

no such thing 'after sun' in those days

sand in the sandwiches 

Grandad with a knotted hanky on his head

sat in a deckchair

suit trousers and best shoes

shirt and tie in the summer heat 

a stewed cup of tea from a Thermos flask 

and the obligatory holiday snaps - they still get rolled out now

embarrassing us

me wearing a red spotty swimming costume

splashing in the shallows

of course there was the obligatory icecream

proper ice-cream naturally

with a flake in it

and we'd get it all over our faces

and Mum would wipe it off with a damp hanky!

Day done - it was falling asleep in the car on the way home

no car seats in those days

three children all slumped together on the back seat

sunburn was red raw the next morning 

that's how you know you'd had a great day!

All those memories 

from walking into the beach goods shop!

Pop into one the next time you're at the beach

...happy days

Loos

I didn't need the loo

I'd been in the car for half an hour or more and I was fine

at our destination

we parked 

I was fine

I walked to the ticket machine to pay for our space 

and I was fine

We locked up the car and set off

I was fine

we walked

and...

I was fine

...until 

we passed a public toilet 

and I dashed in!