Because

I'm only up at this time of day because I have to go to work.

I'll buy that on the credit card because we're struggling for money.

I buy the cheapest tobacco because I really can't afford to smoke.

I buy a Sunday newspaper every week because I'm retired and can afford the time and money to do so.

I wear my hair in a 'man-bun' because I think I look cool.

I wear shorts in the winter because I don't feel the cold - much.

I'm this shape because I don't look after myself.

I'm buying alcohol because it's Friday.

I'm buying alcohol because I'm going to watch the footy.

I'm buying alcohol because I have a drink problem.

I wear this England football shirt because it makes me feel like I belong.

I buy 'energy drinks' because I really believe they give me energy.

I'll have this bar of chocolate for my breakfast because I'm not organised enough to arrange a proper breakfast.

I smile all the time because I'm a happy soul.

I'm excited when it begins to snow because I can remember what it felt like when it snowed when I was a child.

I laugh because I think you're funny.

...I wrote this poem because I observed all this happening.

Winter

Winter.

The December chill hastens the arrival of Christmas jumpers,

it hardens the butter,

and reminds us to buy anti-freeze.

"A horse wears a coat in the Paddock"

An electric van tip-toes round the corner,

the only sound being it's tyres 

crackling on the frozen snow.

"My breath appears through the dark"

The water in the bird bath has frozen solid.

Autumn leaves on the surface of the pond now form a frozen mosaic.

"Snow covered roofs on well insulated houses"

Bare branches of winter trees mourn their loss.

Clouds threaten snow but don't deliver - yet

"The tips of my fingers anticipate the cold"

I grip my hands round the residual warmth of a now empty coffee cup.

I think a second jumper is now required.

Getting Old

Children are in everything!

Children

Children

Children!

They drive cars

they're buying houses

they're even having children of their own! 

The police recruit them.

They're all over our 'screens'

they're driving trains,

they're even becoming doctors!

They're all over society

they're running their own businesses

they're becoming teachers

they're even standing for parliament!

They're everywhere in sport.

They play for our top teams

they're playing for their countries 

they're even becom...

...wait a minute.

...am I just getting old!

The Sun Sets Light to The Evening

The largest of women got out of the smallest of cars.

The once annoying youth,

now a young man 

holds the door open for a very short lady who, 

compensates for her size with a huge personality.

There is always hope!

With the speaker on,

a man talks loudly into his mobile phone

but is drowned out by a deafening sign language argument,

so much hand waving!

It sounds like she's coping.

The sun sets light to the evening.

The Best Turkish Dentistry Could Provide

The cherished number plate 

hides the true age 

of the car

on the forecourt

the make-up 

and surgery 

hides the true age 

of its driver. 

The choice 

of a purchase 

testifies to an upbringing 

the outfit 

she's selected 

screams along!

For in a 'less than' 

designer tracksuit

with a 'bona fide' 

fake gold necklace

round a 'genuine' 

spray-tanned neckline (which no suns rays have ever seen)

two lips 

with more filler 

than a '75 Ford Cortina

and boobs 

so full of silicone,

her bra's prepared to quit

there; 

with a fake 

but unconvincingly labelled handbag 

from a well-known internet auction site 

lyes the 'not-quite' 

latest iPhone 

trussed up

like her boobs

in a fake 

diamond phone case

with more sparkle  

than her teeth

which are the best 

Turkish dentistry 

could provide!

(Haiku)

With phone and a fag, 

tinted hair and her handbag -

she goes off to work