(I don't like giving a piece a description. If it needs one, it's failed. This one is different. These words apply to me and
are my true story. Depression has been a big part of the last 20 years of my life and I saw this as a way of passing on what I went through. Depression is why I got into writing poetry.
Anyone who knows me know, knows me as a happy, bubbly cheerful sort, not depressed, down and on the edge of life... but it was so. The reason why I am so happy these days is because I came through it and can now look back and reflect.
This piece is a concrete poem. I have laid it out so because the gaps are as important as the words.
I hope you enjoy it and maybe, if you find yourself in a dark place, then maybe you can take solice from it.
Sometimes you feel...
sometimes you don't feel anything...
you're stuck in a haze
...crying in the night
...sometimes you've gone so far
...so far beyond the blackness
beyond that feeling
...of descending levels of 'down'
...so much so that
...the one that might partially cover you some days
...from time to time
...completely engulfs you
like a second skin
it all fragments
...you can't see a way out
you can't see anything but the black...
But then some days
...now and then
...life sometimes becomes a little better
...not the best
...the rhymes still just won't flow
...you know what I mean - the breaks aren't always yours
...you don't always feel right
you call heads and it comes down tails
however desperate you are
to pull it all together
to make something chime
...you don't feel terrible
but it still doesn't rhyme
...but it's still a bit fragmented
a bit like
... seeking life's true colours
but black is all that you see
but it's given you a taste
so you want more
you become desperate to make it right
for just some of the time...
but you can't find the door and you can't make it rhyme
you want life to come back together
...did you hear that rhyme?
...and you will do one day
...and see it
did you hear
...did you hear it?
Did you feel the blackness lift
you will get a start
life can come back together
and shine light in your heart