Everything I Say Isn't True

Don't quit giving up!

Tea leaves 'Staines'
...in Middlesex

At least you've got nothing!

At least an empty jam jar has air in it!
Unless it's in a vacuum of course
...which sucks!

How do I stop my raincoat getting wet?

I'm dying to be in the Times obituary column!

Was that a 'tick' or a 'tock?'

That downpipe is depressed
as the water running down it - chuckles!

Does a clock ever get time off?

That's a big hole that digger's got itself into!

Gin! - that's the spirit!

I can't see my glasses to find my hearing aids - pardon?!

This broken truss offers me no support!

Why doesn't snoring wake up the snorer?

I don't find this bra uplifting in the slightest!

I'm sorry that my barometer is under so much pressure

Golf - balls!
...it's just my opinion!

The wind - blew
so what colour is the rain?

How heavy is a flame?

Who owns the view?


I said couldn't talk right now! OK?

What have I forgotten?
I don't remember
...I don't remember what I've forgotten?

Don't listen to me
... everything I say isn't true!

No comments: