Trying to get two '
80 year olds' out of the door to go shopping is like trying to get blood out of a stone,
like try to knit fog,
hurd cats,
nailing jelly to a wall,
pushing a blancmange up a hill with a feather duster.
#2 to #1
"Have you got your mobile and is it switched on?",
"Yes, I have my mobile but it's not switched on", replies #1
"Well switch it on!" says #2 "so I can ring you!"
"OK, I'll just go and get it".
"You said you had it!" questions #2
"Where's the shopping list?" #1 asks
"It's on the side there" points #2.
#1 picks it up, then drops it on the floor,
then ignores it.
"Right I'll just go and get my mobile" #1 adds.
"Is it switched on!" repeats #2
#1 goes to get mobile,
walking over shopping list now on the floor,
comes back with mobile and now is wearing a cardigan.
#1 goes to put mobile in small cardigan pocket,
"No no no, that's no good, you'll loose it!" says #2 "is it switched on?" they add.
"I'll go and get my coat" says #1
#1Takes off the cardigan, whilst #2 pops out to do something in the driveway, smartly returning saying,
"I'll do that later".
#1 also returns.
"Where's the shopping list?" asks #1
"On the floor" says #2
#1 puts the mobile in one pocket of the jacket,
then picks up shopping list, putting that in the other pocket.
"Now. Have you told the gardener?" #1 asks #2
"Yes" replies #2.
"Is it switched on?"
"Have you told the cleaner?" #1 asks #2.
"Yes" replies #2
"Is it switched on?"
"Is it switched on?" asks #2 of #1
"What?" replies #1
"Your mobile, is it switched on? I need to ring you!"
"No, but I'll switch it on",
as we finally head for the door.
"Is it switched on" #2 repeats,
"OK. I'll make sure I switch it on!" #1 replies, fumbling with the mobile.
"It's switched on!" #1 exults!
...we leave the house.
